Here’s a picture of me in my blanket fort. I upgraded it last year. Fort Blue Cover now has wireless internet access.

You can usually find me chilling in an indie coffeehouse, typing away on my MacBook. Look for that jackass working on his quirky indie screenplay and hogging the couch with his friend just in from L.A for the week. I’m usually sitting right behind him.

I’ve been playing the piano since I was four. But I grew small hands with bent, chubby fingers and that’s why I’ll never play at Carnegie Hall. That, and I don’t practice.

I could watch the white-naped cranes at the Bronx Zoo all day long.

Likes: tropical fish, the smart car, fast elevators on the way up, Dr. Gregory House, Nintendo Wii, Venice in the early morning, those made-up sports they show on ESPN2, Becherovka, literary subtext, Facebook, people who choose to not wear a tie to work (except Richard Branson), cracking ice, empty movie theaters, falling off the climbing wall and discovering that the harness will catch you, Pearls Before Swine, Wil E. Coyote, Grounded, that Swedish space-foam bed at Brookstone, this ginormous tarantula I saw in Costa Rica, dogs in public places.

Dislikes: fizzy water, highways, Wal-Mart, fast elevators on the way down, passive-aggressiveness, that talking baby from the e-Trade commercials, when people call me “sir,” the word I missed in the fourth-grade spelling bee (“villain”), when someone asks me to “give 110%” (can I just give a hundred, is that ok?), auto-tune, Baconnaise, conversational subtext, “Fun-Sized” as a euphemism for “tiny”, movies that have the main character’s name in their title, Richard Branson, weasel words, people dressing their pets in silly costumes, Facebook, political bumper stickers, insects that aren’t that ginormous tarantula from Costa Rica, Axe deodorant body spray, babies in public places.

I used to take tennis lessons, but I was never very good. That game would be tons more fun if there weren’t that damn net in the middle of the court. Other ways to improve tennis: do away with the sidelines and baselines, let the same player hit the ball twice in a row, put obstacles on the court, or make it racquetball.

eHarmony rejected me. Now I’m using OkCupid, a younger, thinner online dating site. eHarmony is jealous.